• Sarah Bialkin

When "not my type" becomes "my type"

For us millenialls, all physical attributes are categorized in Swipe Left or Swipe Right. Some features elicit an automatic deal breaking left or deal making right swipe. While other qualities are calculated together to either output a Left (negative) or Right (positive) answer. But what happens when sometimes people are attracted to a negative score?

This happened to a friend of mine. While sipping out Matcha lattes she explained her confusion about liking a guy who wasn't "her type". This new guy in her life was much shorter, had a boyish frame, and an energetic (but annoying to some) personality. To add to this picture, my friend is a tall, slender, beautiful blonde with a bubbly and bright personality. She is not short of male attention and options. But her out of the ordinary attraction to this guy was puzzling her.

I asked her what she liked about him. She started to explain that they'd been friends for about one year. This was quite clearly a "started as friends" situation blooming. A guy that treated my friend as an equal, didn't over sexualize her, and could match her chatty personality was an automatic swipe right. Maybe it's true that the inside matters more than the outside. This situation made me rethink my automatic Swipe Left list of qualities and I began adding more to my Swipe Right list. Suddenly, I stopped caring about a receding hairline and began focusing on the expression and joy in the photograph. Often the messier pies seem the tastiest.

The most important thing to evaluate is the way a person makes YOU feel! Versus the way YOU feel about THEM. This guy made my friend feel confident, safe, and adored- Who could ever swipe Left on that!?

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